The Art of Trusting.
By: Winsala Gbotemi.
They say one of the foundations of every relationship, should be built on trust. However, it is not easy to trust someone, because when you do, you’re handing over the entirety of your life to another individual. Trust is a priceless possession, and that individual might not value that possession. So he/she plays with your life.
The paradigm shift comes into play, when the person been played, realises how messed up he/she has become, then either wants a fatal revenge, or wants out of the relationship. I pay attention to details, when I hear or read reports about individuals killing their loved ones.
Most times, this is as a result of the paradigm shift. From experience, it’s painful when someone you love, cheats you, or cheats on you. So I don’t blame such persons who take the law into there own hands. This is not to justify the act of killing. But to attach a rationale behind it. Most of those who want out of the relationship, always would have loved to hurt or do something fatal to their former loved ones, but they just didn’t muster up the courage to do so.
Some of them actually take conciliation in leaving the “matter to God.” Particularly the female gender, that is when they start to attend religious services, and call themselves “born again.” I don’t judge, since that’s the only way they can find solace.
But true solace comes when you finally forgive and forget. The art of forgiveness is divine, not everyone is blessed with that gift, that is why many of those who got there hearts broken, in there previous relationships as a result of excessive trust, carry on a certain mentality, onto their next relationship. Thereby, deliberately breaking the hearts of there new spouses.
Then the “vicious cycle of breaking of hearts” continues. But what they don’t know is that, come what may, at the end of the day, either male or female, they would always be at a loss.
For they are toiling with the golden rule of time. And time is essence. I wouldn’t want to dwell much on that. I searched the depth of the metaphysical, a paranormal Odyssey, in search of why certain people, after going the extra mile to earn the trust of there spouses, toil with the lives of there partners, and thereby break there hearts. As if love is a crime. I was able to epsy the following:
1. The trusted partner, doesn’t know what he or she wants, at that moment.
2. Deliberate wickedness on the part of the trusted partner, maybe due to a former heart break or on purpose.
3. The trusted partner was only having fun, whilst you were very serious.
4. You’re a spare part, and not the main course.
5. There was a particular value you were adding to the trusted partner’s life, when you stopped adding that value, he/she moved on to the next victim.
It is true, what goes around surely comes around. But the answer to the question, “How do I know that the person I’m about to fall in love with, would not break my heart?” I do not know. I guess you only have to take a leap of fate. On your own part, do your best and leave the rest. Do not only trust with all your heart, but also, with your mind. Then believe, that he/she also have, if not the same iota, but almost the same iota of love and trust.
In conclusion, though this is my personal believe, and may not be tenable. I believe that the essence of going into a relationship in the first place, should be because, you had in mind to marry he/she. If that is not your mindset from the onset, then you suffer from what i refer to as, “myopic phantasmagoria” on no account should a matured mind, start what he or she cannot finish. So if that is not your mindset at the moment, my advice is that you either change your mindset or call it quit with he/she you’re messing with.
Furthermore, what is moral, may not be legal, what is legal may not be moral, and what is both moral and legal, may not be expedient. But always have at the back of your mind that, plans don’t go as planed. Do your best and leave the rest.
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